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Corporate Ladder
by Animal and Ed
[Scene: Piccolo's apartment]
Goku: Hey, everyone, I'm home.
Vegeta: So what? I didn't even notice you left.
Goku: You know, Vegeta, you would benefit a lot from training
with me.
Vegeta: Spare me your concern, Kakarot. I train in my own manner
that has given me incredible abilities.
*Piccolo enters*
Piccolo: Hey, guys, it pains me to see you two sitting around
this apartment all day doing nothing while I'm out working to
provide for all of us. I think it's time that you go out and get
a job. Both of you.
Vegeta: Oh, please, Namek, I am a saiyan prince. Why should I
listen to you?
Piccolo: Because, I pay the rent, the electric bills, insurance,
car payments, and many other bills, not to mention that I put
food on your table. Now, go and get a job or you both are
getting out.
Vegeta: *angrily* Oh, very well.
Goku: No problem, Piccolo. It's time we started paying our own
way... Good luck, Vegeta.
Vegeta: Hmph. You'll need the luck, Kakarot. I can out do you at anything.
[Shift to an office of an insurance company. Goku is seated
opposite a manager for the company.]
Manager: Do you have a four-year degree?
Goku: Um...no.
Manager: An associates degree?
Goku: No.
Manager: A high-school diploma or GED?
Goku: *laughs nervously* No...sorry
Manager: So, mister Goku, do you at least have any experience
selling insurance?
Goku: Um, well, actually, I don't.
Manager: Oh, well... *smiles* What the heck? You seem like such
a nice guy. I'll give you a chance...Welcome aboard, Goku!
Goku: *amazed, shaking the manager's hand* Wow, thanks!
[Shift to the Super Saiyan Pizza restaurant.]
Manager: So, Vegeta, huh? How fast are you?
Vegeta: *laughs maniacally* Are you kidding? I am the fastest
being you have ever seen.
Manager: Uh... Okay, then, you're hired.
Vegeta: You will not regret your decision. With me delivering,
this will be the greatest Pizzaria in the city!
*Runs out the door, laughing maniacally and flies off*
Manager: ...Hmm... Well, the guy has ambition!
*4 weeks pass.*
Vegeta: Super Saiyan Pizza. We make it, you eat it. Now what do
you want? Uh-huh? Uh-huh? Right. No anchovies. Gotcha. *grabs
pizza and flies off*
[Shift to an office desk]
Goku (in suit and tie): Sure, we have all kinds of policies that
will cover you and your entire family. Yes, insurance is the
best protection for your loved ones. Really? Okay then. Right.
Gotcha. Hey, boss, I just sold someone a $500,000 policy. How is that?
[Shift to a house. Vegeta stands in the front doorway as a
teenager hands him some bills.]
Vegeta: I count fifteen twenty-one. But that's exact change...
*trying desperately to sound calm* Where is my tip?
Teenager: *looking inside pizza box* Yeah well I dunno...you
forgot the ham.
Vegeta: WHAT?! You said you only wanted pepperoni and sausage.
You didn't say anything about ham.
Teenager: I speciffically said I wanted pepperoni, sausage, and
ham. You ain't getting a tip.
*Vegeta shakes his fist*
Vegeta: Look, you little worm, I am a great saiyan warrior, the
most powerful in the whole universe--AND I WILL HAVE MY TIP!!!
Teenager: Saiyan? Is wearing that goofy outfit getting to ya?
That's an old fairy tale. Get the hell off my property.
Vegeta: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
*The teenager slams the door in Vegeta's face just as he was
turning Super Saiyan*
[Scene:A dejected Vegeta is walking alone on the city streets
with his hands in his pockets, looking very stressed and angry.]
Vegeta: I must find a way to make more money than Kakarot...
*six months pass*
Executive: Mister Goku, your sales are astronomical. In fact,
they're so great, that I have decided to make you the general
manager over the whole district. With a nice raise, of course.
Goku: *blushes* Wow. Thank you!
[Shift to a bar. Goku walks in.]
Bartendeder: Hey, haven't seen you in here before. So what'll it be?
Goku: Nothing for me, of course, but I wanna buy everyone in
here a round.
*crowd cheers*
Bartender: That's real generous of you. May I ask why?
Goku: Well, I got a nice raise, and a promotion. My wife,
Chichi, is gonna be so proud of me.
*Vegeta walks in*
Vegeta: I'll have something strong.
Goku: What's the matter? You look so down. Did something go
wrong at the pizza place?
Vegeta: What's it to you, Kakarot?
Goku: I'm just curious.
Vegeta: If you must know, it went out of business. All these
stupid humans kept complaining and stopped eating there.
Eventually, we had to close down. Happy now, Kakarot?
Goku: Gee, that's bad. Tell you what, why don't you come work
with me at Kamesenin Insurance? I'm the district manager. I'll
get you a job easily.
Vegeta: How.... is that........ possible? Kakarot? You......
Goku: Was it something I said?
*2 days later*
Goku: Hey, Vegeta, you make any sales yet?
Vegeta: Hang on, Kakarot, I'm with somebody. *to phone* So, are
you gonna buy any insurance from us, or do I have to blast you
to the moon? Hello? Hello? SAY SOMETHING you FOOL!
Goku: Hey, Vegeta, I think you would be better in another position.
*that night*
Goku: Good night, Vegeta.
Vegeta: Night, Kakarot. *walks* Imagine that. Me, Vegeta, the
great saiyan prince, a nightwatchman. Oh, well, I'll make sure
these doors are still locked.......
THE END
