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The Return of Raditz
by Animal and Ed
[Scene: Piccolo's apartment - Goku, Gohan, Bulma, and Krillin are eating breakfast. Vegeta walks into the kitchen]
Vegeta: So, it seems I have yet to live one more day here on Earth.
Krillin: *wispering* I guess he's not a morning person...
Goku: Umm, good morning, Vegeta.
Vegeta: Hmph. Why should a morning be good, Kakarot? I don't ever DO anything. All day long I sit here doing exercises, trying to stay in shape, but there's no one to fight. What am I to do? It's driving me crazy.
Goku: Geez, Vegeta, sounds like you got that old cabin fever hittin ya, eh?
Vegeta: I don't need any help from you, Kakarot.
Bulma: Hey, I know. How's about you and me going out on a date tonight, Vegeta?
Gohan: Good thinking, Bulma. You two going out on a date. That's a great idea.
Bulma: I know. That's the only ideas I got.
Vegeta: Hmph. Get all dressed up and go around having fun? Why should I? I'd rather be here all day.
Goku: Vegeta. Come on, now. You know you're going to have lots of fun. It's not bad at all.
Vegeta: Easy for you to say. That's all you ever do anymore.
Bulma: Vegeta, we're going out tonight and that's final.
*Vegeta's face turns red with rage, but soon settles down*
Vegeta: Oh, very well. However, who's gonna look after our kids?
Goku: Um, I can't. I gotta go with Krillin to help Master Roshi move into his new house. Remember? He's finally getting off that island.
Vegeta: How bout you, Namek?
Piccolo: Remember? Me and Yamcha have an important game tonight. If we win, we'll be in first place.
Vegeta: See? We can't go out tonight.
Bulma: Hold on. Gohan, what about you?
Gohan: Well, I can't. I got stuff to do.
Goku: Well, I DO have one idea. We can use these Dragonballs to bring back my brother Raditz. He can do it.
Piccolo: ARE YOU NUTS? He'll attack us all. Remember how powerful he was?
Goku: But remember, we are stronger than he is now.
Piccolo: Hmmm.... I still don't like it.
Goku: To tell you the truth, I've been sort of planning on this for a while. I always try to give people a second chance, and Raditz never got one...and he is my only brother.
Vegeta: *sigh* I guess we have no other choice. Let's bring back Raditz.
*They go to summon the dragon*
Dragon: Oh, it's you guys again. Okay, out with your wish.
Goku: This is a kinda strange request.
Dragon: Go ahead and get on with it.
Goku: I wish my brother Raditz would come back to life.
Dragon: You wish is granted.
Bulma: Hey, I thought you couldn't bring people back to life after they have been dead over a year.
Dragon: Look, do you want him back to life or not?
Bulma: Well, I guess so.
Dragon: Okay then, it's done. You have one more wish.
Goku: Well, I hadn't really thought of what the second wish should be, Shenron.
Dragon: Oh, just forget it. The second wish will be accounted for by the fact that I had to bend the rules to get your brother back to life.
Goku: Well... okay.
*Dragon vanishes. Raditz falls out of the sky*
Raditz: AAAAAAAAAAAA!!! *hits the ground* OUCH! ...Where.. am....... I?
Goku: Hey, big brother.
Raditz: Oh, yeah. I assume this is hell.
Goku: No, you're on Earth. I brought you back to life.
Raditz: Huh? Kakarot, you're still alive? And why hasn't Vegeta destroyed you? What ever became of Frieza?
Krillin: It's a long story. In the meantime, Vegeta has a favor to ask of you.
Raditz: Well, what is it? I'm ready for some action.
Vegeta: It's nothing like that. I need you to watch my kids tonight.
Raditz: You brought me back for that?!
Vegeta: I didn't want to. It was the only way.
Raditz: You're out of your mind. I am a warrior, not a baby sitter.
Vegeta: I am your superior, Raditz, never forget it. You shall do as I say! Kakarot has been gracious enough to bring you back, the least you can do is help us this one time.
Goku: Oh, come on, Raditz. I know you'll do a great job.
Raditz: Oh, why me? Ugh... Well, I guess I am still under prince Vegeta's command.
*Night falls. Raditz is alone with Trunks and Bra*
Raditz: I can't believe I'm doing this. Why couldn't I have just stayed dead? Well, Vegeta better be enjoying himself.
*shift to the baseball field*
Vegeta: Okay, let's see. Row 42, seats 5 and 6. This had better be good.
Bulma: Oh, just stop complaining. We're having fun, right?
Vegeta (reluctantly): Right.
*pan over to the dugout*
baseball player: Alright, Yamcha, bring 'em in.
Yamcha: I'll do my best.
*Yamcha steps up to the plate and takes 2 balls and a strike before he smacks a pitch into the stands*
Piccolo: Nice hit, Yamcha.
Yamcha: Piece of cake.
*Piccolo splits into two and does his particle beam cannon in an X*
Piccolo: Yeah. Go Nameks.
[The crowd goes completely wild]
Vegeta: Wha? Look at that Namek making a fool out of himself. *almost laughs out loud*
Bulma: Oh, hey, it's Piccolo. *waves*
*Piccolo looks at her and mutters to himself*
Piccolo: Why am I doing this?
*Shift to Raditz*
Raditz: Look, kid, I'm getting tired of listening to you. I know you are hungry, but that Namek doesn't keep any food in this place.
*kid starts crying*
Raditz: AAAGH. DAMN YOU, KAKAROT! Why couldn't you leave me dead?
*Raditz sees Bra playing Breath of Fire 3 and falls into a sort of trance.*
Raditz: Well...that looks like fun. This may not be so bad after all. *takes control from Bra* Bring it on.
*2 hours pass. Door opens while Raditz is holding one of the kids*
Krillin: Hi, we're back Raditz.
*kid starts kicking Raditz and pulling his hair*
Goku: So, how are you doing?
Raditz: I had this damn kid here bugging the whole time. He wouldn't leave me alone.
Goku: Well at least he survived. Huh?
Raditz: Well, anyway, take your damn kid.
Goku: Um, wasn't he Vegeta's kid?
Raditz: I don't care. Just take him.
*Vegeta and Bulma walk in*
Krillin: Hey.
Goku: Hey, you're back. I'll bet you had a great time.
Bulma: Of course we did, Goku.
Vegeta: Hmph. Now what do we do with him *points to Raditz*
Piccolo: Oh, no. One more mouth to feed.
THE END
